How becoming a mother changed me from the inside out

Before I became a mother I definitely saw things as black and white.  Things were always either right or wrong, there was no middle ground.  My old boss used to tell me that I need to understand that there are many shades of grey that I need to learn and while I would smile and shake my head in agreement, there was still only black and white.

When I was pregnant with Wyatt I didn’t feel a super strong connection to him.  I didn’t love being pregnant and everything that went along with it.  I missed my sleep, was constantly worried about how much weight I was gaining and if I would ever get my body back, had heartburn non-stop, and eventually was swollen everywhere!  That all changed when Wyatt arrived.  Something inside me just clicked and I knew I would never be the same.

Wyatt has made me look at the world differently.  The love I have for him is something that I have never experienced before.  That, along with the strong desire to protect him in every way possible has completely changed who I am as a person.  I now see the many shades of grey that are present in our every day lives.

I used to be the person that would go out to dinner and wonder why the family next to me was letting their child throw food on the ground or scream.  I now realize that the screams are screams of joy and the throwing of the food is a way to learn how to feed themselves.  My look of judgement has turned to a look of understanding and agreement with what others are going through.  Patience was the first thing I learned after I had my son.

My political views have also changed.  I used to consider myself fiscally conservative and socially liberal but now I associate with those terms even more.  I still feel that we need to be conservative with our fiscal policy but seeing things as a mother has made me more liberal, socially speaking, than ever before.  What got me thinking about this was a video that a friend shared of a mother being reunited with her daughter after they were separated while trying to cross the border from Mexico to the US.

As a mother, the desire to give your child the best possible chance at a good life is so deeply ingrained in you that you would do anything for them.  I was watching this video and thinking to myself there has got to be a better way!  I believe in securing our borders but I also believe that there has to be a simpler way to obtain US citizenship in cases like this.  These parents are risking everything to try to give their children a better life and as a country of mothers and fathers, we need to do something about this.  These children are part of our future and it’s up to us to make sure that future is a happy one filled with opportunities to succeed as human beings. Empathy was the second thing I learned after having my son.

Before I had my son, I was the best parent ever!  My child was going to sleep in his crib as soon as we got home from the hospital and if he didn’t like it, crying is ok.  He was going to be on a schedule from the beginning which would be very precise regarding eating and sleeping.  If my child misbehaved when we were in public, we would leave and handle it in private as to not cause a scene.  Then I had Wyatt and all those preconceived notions went right out the window.  We have been co-sleeping since he came home, he eats on demand, sleeps when he’s tired, and has had quite a few meltdowns in public.  Flexibility was the third thing I learned after having my son.

Stress has always been a part of my daily life.  Mainly because I would let every little thing get to me.  Whether it be the minivan that was going slow as could be in the left lane or the woman in front of me at the supermarket that had to use 20 coupons on top of writing a check (who does that???), they all got to me.  After having Wyatt I began to view these occurrences differently.  While I do still have road rage, I drive much slower now that Wyatt is with me so I have less of a problem with other slow drivers.  Still not a fan of lines at the grocery store and since I now have less time than before, I opt to have my groceries delivered or shop online then pickup outside the store.  I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff and, most importantly, it’s all small stuff 🙂

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